Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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