ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
