Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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