I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
