I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
