The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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