Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize