Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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