that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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