winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
