who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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