she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
