her vagine was all disorganized.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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