all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
