"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
