found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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