you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
