Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
