I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
