I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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