woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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