you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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