whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize