I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
