oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
