wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Randomize
