Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
