do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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