If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
