i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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