Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
