When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
