I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
