Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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