he puts the penis in happiness.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize