I need help removing her.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
