watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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