Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
