I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
