Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
