Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
