He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
