Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize