I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
