I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
