maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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