Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
