Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We had sex on a dog bed..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
