if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
