I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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