So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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