he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
