i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
