Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
