Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
