Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
