Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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