I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The air taste purple.
Randomize
