I wanna bring you to show and tell
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize