I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I fill condoms, not promises.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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