Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
