I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
