is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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